I’m Still Here

I know I know. I’ve been missing. I post a few things here and there and then I go ghost.

I haven’t written anything in a while. I haven’t been on social media much either. I barely go on Facebook (because it’s been damn depressing!!) and I’ve only just recently posted a pic or two on FB and Instagram. But you can catch me on Snapchat lol, holla at me! I’m a mommy now and my daughter comes first. It’s self-explanatory right? She is my everything and that’s that. Don’t get me wrong, I am currently trying to find that balance.  I mean shoot, I have dreams and I have goals, but lately they’ve been pushed to the back burner. I have loads of projects to do, but it’s just finding the time to do them. When I was at home and my daughter was small and less mobile, clearly I had more time. Why don’t I have the time?  Whelp, I’m back at work to answer your question. Since May 11th. That’s why I’m trying to find that balance.

Yesss hunty (or bredren), I got me a j-o-b and it feels some sort of good!! Praise Jah!! Won’t He do it?!

img_1544
Lord knows I was very anxious to get a job. I will have to share my testimony one day for sure. This has been quite a journey and I hope I will be able to inspire others. Even if it’s just one person.

So any who, I’m at another  insurance company and I’m definitely enjoying this new role. It’s currently a 6 month contract so we shall see what happens in the near future. I’m going to use every bit of experience I gain to my advantage, but all I can say is the Lord is working things out. While He does His part, I’ll keep doing my part. My daughter is counting on me!

SO! That being said, I’m now able to support my baby. I feel like a big girl every time I pay my daughter’s nursery fees. Side note: I’ll have to share my feelings on being away from her in another post. Fackin right I miss her chunky cheeks! But being able to buy her food, clothing and pay for the things she needs gives me a sense of accomplishment. I’m a single mum and I gotta do what I gots to do! I’m a very independent person, so having to depend on someone irks my soul. Obviously we can’t do anything in life without some type of assistance, but you get what I’m saying.

NOW…. having said that, I am back. I am back on my grind yo. I am here to build. Ain’t nobody gonna build my empire but moi. I am learning daily and I am building daily. It’s not always easy to stay motivated and to ignore unwanted distractions, but it has to be done. I’m not one to sit and let opportunity pass me by and I sure as heck don’t like those feelings of regret; the woudla, coulda, shoulda thoughts. Nahhh, I got no time for that.

So here I am. Milah, a single working mum, who could have lost herself and her dreams, but found herself before too many years passed her by. I don’t want to be that mum who gives it ALL up and doesn’t at least hold on to one dream. I’m already 34 and I feel like I’m starting late as it is, but I believe in God’s timing. I believe things happen exactly when they should, and now seems like a pretty darn good time to keep on trucking and make some dreams come true.

 

Mums around the world..Don’t lose yourself..Don’t forget yourself. ♥

 

Milah aka Mommy xo

Advertisements

Carpe My Diem

car·pe di·em  –  used to urge someone to make the most of the present time and give little thought to the future.

Carpe Diem. Seize the day.

So many of us say this, but how many of us actually do this?? Well this chick right here is seizing her day. I am taking FULL advantage of each day that I am gifted (I’m trying to anyway lol!!) But seriously though. I am a 34 year old, single mother of a beautiful daughter and I have no time to waste. It took me a while, but I’m ready to do what I love. I’m ready to walk in my purpose. I’m ready to build my empire.

When my daughter gets older, she will know that anything is possible, no matter the circumstances. I will be her Wonder Woman. Her example of a strong, independent woman that may have made mistakes in life and stumbled here and there, but a woman that grew and evolved. A woman who recognized her worth and knows that she is a queen. Women are the bearers of life! We are royalty!! It’s time we go for what’s ours. Milahn, my daughter, will know this. She will understand this. She will watch her mommy build an empire for us. So that being said, I realised that if I’m going to accomplish my goals, a change needs to first happen within. I need to have my mind right. I have to let go of negative thoughts and behaviour, self doubt and insecurities. I especially need to love myself and that entails letting go of anything that will not help me to prosper. Whether it’s bad habits or bad company I need to let it go. I need to respect myself and make wise decisions. I have a daughter now and I refuse to set a bad example.

I told myself if I’m going to build an empire I need to start now.  Now when I say empire, I’m referring to me accomplishing my goals and getting to my desired level of success.  I always thought I would need a better job, make more money etc, etc to accomplish my goals. But that is not the case!

I was in church this past weekend and the sermon was about focus, time and working with what you have. You see, we have to constantly remain focused and recognise that we can’t waste time doing things that don’t relate to where we’re trying to go. If you want to be a great footballer, you’re not going to spend precious time playing basketball when you could be doing football drills would you? You also would not spend a whole lot of time around people that don’t understand or respect that you’re trying to accomplish certain things. Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. (ESV) You need good people and like minded people around you. People that actually care, who will listen to you and encourage you. But they will also give you constructive criticism and they will tell you the things you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

You also need to work with what you have. One cannot master more if he cannot master less. I used to be guilty of this and now I understand perfectly. How can I want that promotion yet I don’t even fully understand the work I’m currently doing?? So keeping these things in mind, I am taking full advantage of the things that I have and I’m going to master the level I’m at now until I’m able to get to a next level. I’ll share with you one of my goals so you may understand a bit better.

You may or may not know, but I’m a YouTuber. I started my channel in 2013 and I wasn’t really sure at first what I was going to do with it. Now I have my vision and my plan. I won’t divulge the details just yet, but I want to get a good following on YouTube and really build my channel up.

yt-creators-silver-rewards

This is a YouTube play button award. The silver is for YouTubers that have 100,000 subscribers and I am going to get one of these. I am DETERMINED and I know I can do it. At present I have 120 subscribers and that excites me. I don’t have the pretty backgrounds and all of the best equipment, but I have a great camera. A Canon which is great for creating videos and I have an iPhone that I can use to vlog, as well as my iMac to edit my videos on. I don’t have a tripod yet so I improvise. I have a start. It’s all about working with what I have and being able to come up with original content, creating videos, editing them and being consistent. I’m trying to find the balance to do all of this though. Because I’m a new mother, it’s a little harder since I live alone. I’m looking for a new job as well so I have to utilise my time wisely, especially once I’m back to work full time.

As I write this, my daughter is currently napping and I’m hoping to finish before she wakes. I have laundry to fold and my hair needs to  be done, plus I have other things that need to be done for my YouTube channel. All of this I need to master and I will. I refuse to make excuses and I refuse to give up. Each day that comes, I will make continuous strides towards my empire. My daughter deserves a head start, and this she will get!

Stay tuned luvlies!! xo